Marriage is a life time enterprise where you not supposed to rush into . you need to take your time when choosing for a life time partner in order to avoid regrets in future. With the high trends circles in divorces across the globe, its unfair to believe that marriage can end suddenly due to the fact that couples fell out of love . Though there’s a popular belief that such can happen .
In real life situation there’s nothing like falling out of love suddenly if it happens then there’s a series of events and signs which have been overlooked which can make marriage crush all the way from the top.
There those who are afraid of being heartbroken after marriage or when in a relationship but get to understand that being heartbroken is a choice and moreso when one makes mistakes which can be avoided before marriage.
In this article am going to discuss 10 common mistakes young people make when choosing who to marry. They include ;
1. Focusing on the looks mostly
Physical appearance strikes the chemistry that brings people together for relationship yet its not the ultimate in keeping the marriage. A woman’s beauty and man’s handsomeness has subject to change depending on age , wear , accident and even time of marriage.
If the looks of the spouse are paramount for the other partner to remain in marriage , any ugly change will bring about resentment and disinterest in the spouse. Therefore the physical appearance of a person shouldn’t be the factor to be considered when choosing someone to marry it just comes as an option.
2. Giving priority to a romantic person
Romance is an important factor in a marriage live but not a guarantee to a successful marriage. Its not good to depend on romantic moments alone without even creating space for oneself. Given that special attraction to man in marriage will shift with time of pleasure in marriage.
3. Believing that marriage is all about fun and happiness
Its easy to believe that marriage is a smooth cell when difficulties are abominable to encounter. Therefore when choosing to marry a good percentage of you people go for happy personalities without exploring others characters important to sustain marriage.
In the real life situation marriage is not all about happy and fun because there are dark days and rainy nights and all these demands that you go for a personalities that can withstand l storms and still find happiness and fun in those storms.
4.Choosing to live in a partner’s shadow
Feelings can make on to be mushy especially when sorted in infatuation. Having issues in retaining one’s identity and uniqueness is a problem to a person who has locked himself or herself in a shoulder of the partner.
When this is carried into marriage, decision making becomes the only solution. Any relationship that makes one to abandon his/her because is no better than dormant is a huge no. Relationship should bring out the best in a person including the most beautiful of his/her personalities not the opposite.
5. Desiring to change somebody
Everyone was born with his/her characters therefore it takes a person to change himself/herself when there’s need to do so. No matter how you love somebody it’s not possible to enjoy marriage when trying to change the person to the ideal person for you and sometimes appear to be futile.
Its advisable to either tolerate and live the faults patiently encourage the person to change. In most cases if you can’t live with those faults then its better not to be involved in the relationship.
6. Being in hurry to marry
There’s no competition to marriage no matter how the crazy idea of throwing into the wedding party is. Wanting to marry in order to escape bachelorhood or to be free from your parents control will be part of the reasons why young people would wish to enter into marriage.
Though there are plenty of benefits in marrying young but its good that you don’t keep your focus on age as it’s passing and settle on anybody.
7. Forsaking interests and circle of friendship
Interestingly your partner cannot be everything to you because you also need your space. A time shall come when you need to grow and evolve a process that will need input of friends and the deeper exploit of your interests.
When you are in a relationship where you are wrongly suggested to give up your interests in politics, football, cooking,writing or turn away from having or keeping meaningful friends, then bear in mind you made a bigger mistake.
8. Marrying for love
You should get to understand that love isn’t a pillar of marriage. Respect and tolerance are basic for lasting marriage. Any relationship where couples don’t respect each other and yet claim they love one another is toxic. Apart from feelings and intense love making, a couple should respect and understand one another .
9. Marrying out of pity
Marriage pays on empty is pitiable. The foundation on which is build is where there’s a true regard of rescuing someone or be grateful. You may even pity his/her family background or you marry her in order to train her in school. Marriage is more serious that pity partners .
10. Marrying to have children
Children are a wonderful gift from God. However you must not entrap yourself on marriage for the sole reason of having children. You will soon realize that that’s not the reason as to marry.
Children are added miracles to the miracle of marrying somebody who you could work together for fulfilling your destiny. When they fail to come as anticipated the marriage could go into shambles as the aim of the marriage has become defeated.
TAKE NOTE: Marriage should have the foundation in Love but not just that, Trust , Mutual Respect, Faithfulness and Friendship are the real pillars that make marriage work.